This is why I love Wii Fit. ‘Nuff said. Read about the wii fit girl’s journey over at: www.laurenbernat.com Buy Wii Fit @ Amazon.com www.amazon.com PS This is a personal video I made… I just work at Tinsley Advertising (not related to Nintendo whatsoever). However I’d love to do work for them 
Video Rating: 4 / 5
Detalii pe misa-yoga.blogspot.com Gregorian Bivolaru a fost urm?rit de Securitate înc? din anul 1971 pe vremea când urma liceul, pentru c? purta coresponden?? cu str?in?tatea, iar dup? scandalul “Medita?ia Transcendental?” din 1982, atunci când practica YOGA a fost interzis? el a fost h?r?uit, torturat ?i încarcerat pentru c? a continuat s? ?ina cursuri în clandestinitate. “MISA ?i Gregorian Bivolaru în c?utarea Adev?rului” este filmul documentar ce cuprinde sintetic aproape toat? povestea abuzurilor împotriva lui Gregorian Bivolaru ?i a MISA. Începute de c?tre Securitatea comunist? în 1971 (detalii în cartea “Reprimarea miscarii yoga in anii 80″) nenum?ratele ilegalit??i au continuat dup? c?derea lui Ceau?escu, fiind realizate de c?tre acelea?i elemente ale fostei securit??i împr??tiate prin guvern, administratie, procuratur?, poli?ie, servicii secrete, justi?ie, dup? “marea rota?ie a cadrelor” din decembrie 1989. Apogeul abuzurilor a fost atins prin opera?iunea serviciilor secrete ce a purtat denumirea de cod “CHRIST”. Citi?i mai jos un articol yogaesoteric referitor la aceast? înscenare a justi?iei din România început? în martie 2004. De amintit ?i faptul c? o important? contribu?ie în aceast? opera?iune a apar?inut agentilor din pres? ai masoneriei (exemple în articolele ?OBolanii ies la iveala: Înc? unul din atacatorii înver?una?i ai MISA se dovede?te a fi mason, Presa masonica contra lui Gregorian Bivolaru – cazul incredibilei recompense oferite de ziarele Gardianul …
Video Rating: 3 / 5
“I Married A Beautiful Woman.” Roger Moore (James Bond) tells me. Wow I was over 200 lbs. then… 150s now. That was FOUR years ago, and I had less, and bad hair wow! See THIS: www.youtube.com Rick Dees. A Class Act! “Live Fearless with Sam Botta” Clip from Dees Entertainment Studios – Father’s Day be reminded that great men still exist. If you are having difficulty meeting him, you’ve not met my friends yet. But then again, my male friends are people that are in constant learning, constant growth, they know why they are on the earth and the do their purpose, it’s like the music you’ve got inside and they just can’t keep it in. I have written extensively about this topic and I’ve been told that I’ve helped more than a few women see Mr. Right for the first time…James Bond in seven films from 1973 to 1985 And the counterintuitive answer by Roger Moore: I Married A Beautiful Woman. As Father’s Day Approaches, be reminded that great men still exist. If you are having difficulty meeting him, you’ve not met my friends yet. But then again, my male friends are people that are in constant learning, constant growth, they know why they are on the earth and the do their purpose, it’s like the music you’ve got inside and they just can’t keep it in. I have written extensively about this topic and I’ve been told that I’ve helped more than a few women see Mr. Right for the first time. This is not that difficult, but there is so much to say about it. So I’ll load the video and go for a …
Detalii pe misa-yoga.blogspot.com Gregorian Bivolaru a fost urm?rit de Securitate înc? din anul 1971 pe vremea când urma liceul, pentru c? purta coresponden?? cu str?in?tatea, iar dup? scandalul “Medita?ia Transcendental?” din 1982, atunci când practica YOGA a fost interzis? el a fost h?r?uit, torturat ?i încarcerat pentru c? a continuat s? ?ina cursuri în clandestinitate. “MISA ?i Gregorian Bivolaru în c?utarea Adev?rului” este filmul documentar ce cuprinde sintetic aproape toat? povestea abuzurilor împotriva lui Gregorian Bivolaru ?i a MISA. Începute de c?tre Securitatea comunist? în 1971 (detalii în cartea “Reprimarea miscarii yoga in anii 80″) nenum?ratele ilegalit??i au continuat dup? c?derea lui Ceau?escu, fiind realizate de c?tre acelea?i elemente ale fostei securit??i împr??tiate prin guvern, administratie, procuratur?, poli?ie, servicii secrete, justi?ie, dup? “marea rota?ie a cadrelor” din decembrie 1989. Apogeul abuzurilor a fost atins prin opera?iunea serviciilor secrete ce a purtat denumirea de cod “CHRIST”. Citi?i mai jos un articol yogaesoteric referitor la aceast? înscenare a justi?iei din România început? în martie 2004. De amintit ?i faptul c? o important? contribu?ie în aceast? opera?iune a apar?inut agentilor din pres? ai masoneriei (exemple în articolele ?OBolanii ies la iveala: Înc? unul din atacatorii înver?una?i ai MISA se dovede?te a fi mason, Presa masonica contra lui Gregorian Bivolaru – cazul incredibilei recompense oferite de ziarele Gardianul …
“I Married A Beautiful Woman.” Roger Moore (James Bond) tells me. Wow I was over 200 lbs. then… 150s now. That was FOUR years ago, and I had less, and bad hair wow! See THIS: www.youtube.com Rick Dees. A Class Act! “Live Fearless with Sam Botta” Clip from Dees Entertainment Studios – Father’s Day be reminded that great men still exist. If you are having difficulty meeting him, you’ve not met my friends yet. But then again, my male friends are people that are in constant learning, constant growth, they know why they are on the earth and the do their purpose, it’s like the music you’ve got inside and they just can’t keep it in. I have written extensively about this topic and I’ve been told that I’ve helped more than a few women see Mr. Right for the first time…James Bond in seven films from 1973 to 1985 And the counterintuitive answer by Roger Moore: I Married A Beautiful Woman. As Father’s Day Approaches, be reminded that great men still exist. If you are having difficulty meeting him, you’ve not met my friends yet. But then again, my male friends are people that are in constant learning, constant growth, they know why they are on the earth and the do their purpose, it’s like the music you’ve got inside and they just can’t keep it in. I have written extensively about this topic and I’ve been told that I’ve helped more than a few women see Mr. Right for the first time. This is not that difficult, but there is so much to say about it. So I’ll load the video and go for a …
Video Rating: 3 / 5
Technotise: Edit & I Tehnotajz: Edit i ja je prvi srpski dugometražni animirani film, koji traje 103 minute. Glasove su posudili Nikola ?uri?ko, Jelisaveta Sabli?, Nebojša Glogovac, Petar Kralj, Sr?an Todorovi?, Sanda Kneževi? i Igor Bugarski. Režiser je Aleksa Gaji?. Muziku…
Video Rating: 4 / 5
Eating Out – DVDrip ( 2006 – ENG SUB )
Video Rating: 5 / 5
I sleepily trailed Nick as I tugged on his hand through the lobby of his apartment building. Nick lives in such a spectacular building he’s so lucky. We stood together in front of the elevator and waited for the doors to part, it seemed like forever before they did. We stepped inside and Nick leaned up against the back wall after pushing his floor number and I leaned up against Nick. He placed his arms around my waist and rested his head on top of mine and he sighed. I knew he was tired but his sigh was a happy one. I smiled when I heard it. I knew he was happy to be home and that everything was going to be okay for now. The floor bell rang and again Nick walked in front of me for a couple steps until he was at the only door, his. He opened it and he looked at me oddly and then cracked a small smile. He quickly turned towards me and lifted me up bridal style. I was totally caught off guard and I laughed out loud and had to cover my mouth. Nick kicked the door shut and carried me into his bedroom and placed me down on the bed. He looked at me with a loving smile and sat down beside me and slowly bent down and kissed my forehead. If I wasn’t so tired I would take him right now, without a doubt. He kept his eyes locked on mine but soon my eyes started to sting because I was so tired. I shut my eyes tight and I felt each of Nick’s hands on each of my wrists pulling me to sit upwards. I shook my head and mumbled. ”Baby, you gotta get changed..” I sighed but I didn’t want to …
Video Rating: 4 / 5
EP 8 RIGHT HERE!!.. SORRY BOUT THE WAIT BUT FINALS ARE COMIN UP LOL I HATE THEM.. ENJOY (WITH TAYLOR AND MEAGAN) TAY- (worried) meagan ru ok (runs to her and pulls her into his lap) shh shh whats wrong? MEA- (sobbing in his chest) iii cant tell you (cries harder) TAY- (carries her to the sofa) u can tell me anything i promise MEA- i want to tell u god i want to tell somebody but i cant i cant im sorry TAY- well if u wont tell me how can i help, in the restraunt u told me that in order to be together we have to no everything about eachother.. please i want to no MEA- no u dont want to no .. i dont want u to no TAY- (sad) well if u dont want me to know then i wont MEA- (sees him sad and sighs) T- i have to tell some1 and he deserves to know, but i cant let cait and amy get hurt bc of me..) (whispers) im not a virgin TAY- what? is that what u were tryin to tell me hunni idc if u have had relationships MEA- ive never had a boyfriend that is the truth.. (whispers so low hopin he wont hear her) i was raped TAY- yeah i no when u were kidnapped meagan that was 13 years ago i dont about that MEA- NO!! i was raped a month ago(she screamed and started cryin again) TAY- omg what ru talkin about please meagan tell me what happened MEA- my friend amy she had a boyfriend and they loved eachother but amy wasnt ready to have sex, so he broke up with her, she was devatated but me and cait we told her that he wasnt werth it.. for two weeks we never saw him he was barely at school amy was …
Video Rating: 0 / 5
(Click MORE INFO for transcript.) On the run from the Posh Spice zombies, Sweetie encounters a dorky young fellow who claims to know what the “Anti-Posh” is. Sweetie: Oh my God, I can’t believe I found you! It’s been days since I’ve seen anybody but the Posh Spice zombies! Skeeter: My name’s Skeeter. I’m a new program here on Xtranormal. The programmers put me online for the first time just a few hours before the Posh Spices started to take over. Sweetie: You poor thing, you’re still just a kid. How have you managed to last this long without being turned into a Posh? Skeeter: I’ve been running and running. But now I’m too tired, I can’t run anymore. Sweetie: I just barely got away from them, myself. I was talking to the cartoonist who created me. She gave me a clue about how to defeat the zombies, but I don’t know what it means… She said I need to find something she called the Anti-Posh. Skeeter: The Anti-Posh? Oh, my God! Of course… Why didn’t we think of that before? It’s so obvious! Sweetie: What? Skeeter, do you know what she meant? Please, you gotta tell me… Who or what is the Anti-Posh? Skeeter: Well, it’s… Posh Spice Zombies: Zigga-zigga. Zigga-zigga. Sweetie: What? Jesus Hollywood Christ on a Kaiser role! How do you bitches manage to sneak up on people in those heels? Skeeter: There’s nowhere to run! This is it! Once she shows us her evil panties, we’re doomed… I don’t wanna be a Posh Spice. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life thinking that the …
A MONTH LATER NICKS POV Its been a whole month since Alis death. I come from work every day knowing that my baby girl. My first child with selena wasnt there anymore. Selena seems more distant from everyone. She would lock herself in our room. Crying just looking at a picture of Ali. The sad part was, she never even told me that she loves me. I was always too busy with work. Tomorrow is her 3rd birthday. Selena has been planning this huge party for her but now its different. I opened my bedroom door and sees selena sleeping. I walk up to her and kissed her cheek. She slowly opened her red blood shot eyes and smiled at me. I smiled back and told her sorry for waking her up. It was already 2 in the morning. She has asked me why I had come home so late. I hesitated to answer and lied start to her face. I had a lot of paper work and projects to finish at the office baby. I said that to her and she believed me. I put my hands back into my pocket and felt a vibration. I ignored the call and told selena I was going to take a quick shower and Ill see her in bed. I walked into the bathroom and checked me phone. It was a text message from my assistant telling me that she left her panties in my car. I smirked at the text and replied saying well that wont be a big problem since you barely wear any in the office. I hit send and went into the shower. I started to think. I was having sex with my assistant who was a mere 18 year old. What was I doing to myself. I have the most beautiful …
Teknorat Ft Rubycalaber – Grampa’s Money RUBY CALABER YUSSSS Let me tell you about my life (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! Now there ain’t no way that you’ll ever see my face I got 17 proxies and a lotta disk space I got grandad’s money in the bank on my card You can barely pay bills and ya had to work hard Hard like my dick when it cums in my mouth Like the taste but I’m straight woah whose a fag now? Kikes did 9/11 hate me cos I spit the true But spittin is for dlists: swallow that goo (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! The touch of a human makes me sick I quit irl like you quick click my dick when you post replies to my lost threads you cost less I completely lack care as I sit in my chair, think it ain’t fair? you’re right there I’m right here you sick queer Like elz you’re so slows go watch heroes your life blows like my loads in my sisters lace got her soft panties on my mother fuckin face (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! (Arabic) I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! I’m Getting Grampa’s Money! Irn bru, Mac and cheese; Teknorat if you please Wanna get my dox and pictures of my cock Then speak to trollinator but don’t hate her if she kills you and spills your blood on my floor at her core she’s like a playstation she’s no desolation; more mental …
Wanna Chat?? =) U Can ADD ME @ is.gd Login and Just look for the name Azngrl93 and message me so I can have someone watch me touch myself!!! (Don’t worry, there is no fee, its completely free like youtube is. (and yes, I am barely 18, but I look younger ;P )
Video Rating: 0 / 5
Wanna Chat?? =P ADD ME @ is.gd Login and Just look for the name Azngrl93 and message me so we can chat!!! (Don’t worry, there is no fee, its completely free like youtube is. (and yes, I am barely 18, but I look younger ;P )
Video Rating: 0 / 5
Wanna Chat?? LOL ADD ME @ is.gd Login and Just look for the name LookinForLove92 and message me so we both can get off!!! (Don’t worry, there is no fee, its completely free like youtube is. (and yes, I am barely 18, but I look younger ;P )
chillin with my girlfriend you know haters envy they checkin out the legs thighs ass and chest on my lady baby bottom jeans and her hair lookin wavy of course she turning heads you can call her baby Regan or emily rose. got the cutest little nose dimples when she smiles skin always softer then a rose you know i gotta go when my lady blow my phone if i get there fore her parents i can score a hole in one eat her like a tiger stroke her feline like a liger she ride on my unicycle you can call her a biker get her wet like Michael. hit it in the shower like a bridal have her saying Oh God without the holy bible blasphamy forgive me Lord but dont let their eyes wander so i snap back to em and tell em she on my rubber if they fantasize just to keep em in a wonder she always look her best but this 1 rule they must follow dont you look at my girlfriend shes the only one i got lookin for a hot pussy wait better yet a tigress get a hottie lion (lying) on the bed in a striped tightdress no panties under im all 4 the booty like sum pirates beat it up so hard my angel say she bout to start sum riots always on the lookout for the next lady with a smile gorgeous hips just to ride continuously for miles is been awhile no relationships only seeking trials signing up for ladies mailing lists but plz dont send a virus dont get mad baby ill lay the pipe and even pliers bring you every tool you want ditch yur vibrators call yur exes traitors unpatriotic players tryna blow up in yur center wen …
Video Rating: 5 / 5
Brief thoughts on my recent confinement
Brief thoughts on my recent confinement
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Home Page > Health > Brief thoughts on my recent confinement
Brief thoughts on my recent confinement
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 |Comments: 0
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I never in my wildest dreams imagined women’s underwear styles would one day become a major–even ruling–interest in my life.
It would have seemed as unlikely as winding up in a nursing home while still in my early 50s.
Yet both happened–simultaneously–earlier this year.
For reasons that will become obvious I developed what I ultimately called a “bottometer” to predict daily attitude (health, happiness, etc.) while confined in a skilled nursing facility. It was a negative scale. The more repulsed and aggravated and irritated I was by unwanted, yet unavoidable, closeup views of VPL’s and/or panties and/or their silhouettes, the better I actually felt overall.
The sight of a low-rise crimson tanga with a broad black lace trim screaming through stretched white poly-cotton pants could raise my ire (what could she possibly be thinking) enough to provide me with adrenaline sufficient to last a day or more.
But I’m getting ahead of the story.
Brief: A traditional rise panty with full coverage in the rear. For a modern take on a classic silhouette choose a brief in seamless microfiber. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
My dining companions at the nursing facility were three older women with long experience with nursing homes–in general and with this one in particular. Two were in their late 70s and one was in her late 90s (she was the most independent, able to wheel herself around in a wheelchair). All of them loved to sing and I was always willing to join in with them. I surprised them by not only knowing favorites like “Bicycle Built for Two” and “Ivan Skavinsky Skavar” but also standards like “Twilight Time” by The Platters:
Heavenly shades of night are falling
It’s twilight time
Out of the mist your voice is calling
It’s twilight time
When purple colored curtains
Mark the end of the day
I hear you my dear at twilight time
We got along very well.
Their most consistent complaint (and it came up daily in one form or another) concerned aides who “dressed like sluts” and “always seem to be scratching”–even in church.
I hadn’t noticed the latter habit, but once pointed out to me I couldn’t seem to escape it. It was, after all, happening at eye level.
“Would you like dome more coffee?” an aide would ask–handing me a cup with one hand while scratching away with the other.
My companions’ theory was that if those aides cared so little about themselves you just knew where we ranked.
One day one of the younger women, who had been uncharacteristically morose during the meal, suddenly burst into tears.
We discovered, in bits and pieces over time, that earlier in the day an aide had wheeled her out into the hall in order to do something in the room. The aide then went around a corner and promptly forgot her.
“I could hear her every once in a while—she was complaining to another aide about how a resident had filed a complaint against her and how terribly unfair it was—but she just left me there. After a while—a half hour or more–I really needed to use the restroom. But I was stuck out there with no way to call anyone for help. I yelled a couple of times, but nothing.”
What happened next wasn’t the worst case scenario, of course—that would be death—but it was adequately humiliating. My companion was left feeling helpless.
“I’ve placed my life in the hands of someone so stupid she wears a bright red bra and panties under a white uniform. I guess I should be glad I only wet my pants.”
“Well,” another of the women said, “her chartreuse undergarments are even worse. I think they glow in the dark.”
We had to laugh—it hurt too much not to.
Bikini: A moderate coverage silhouette offering more coverage than a thong, but not as much as a brief. Bikinis have waistbands which usually lay somewhere between the navel and hip (unless Low Rise) and have semi-hi-cut legs and a moderate coverage back. String bikinis offer considerably less coverage than an average bikini. Bikinis are a super comfortable medium coverage silhouette that won’t show thru under heavier fabrics like denim or wool. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
When I was in nursing school 30-plus years ago several of the older biddy nurses spent what seemed an inordinate time on appearance.
At that time female to male ratio in nursing was about 18-1 and we men were novelties.
The dress code called for a white skirt and “one or two slips as needed” along with a white blouse “made of material substantial enough to obscure undergarments” and a smock. Dresses were discouraged but, if worn, had to be cut in such a way the hemline didn’t rise when the woman reached straight overhead. Pants were banned outright.
The older biddy nurses had been known to stand a young nurse in front of a spotlight (legs apart, hands raised ala Di Vinci) to make sure her clothing was adequately opaque.
The concession–and single rule–added for men was white pants, white shirt and white smock “of material and design commensurate with the goals of the rules for women.”
Low Rise: A panty with a rise of 7 inches or less. The rise is the measurement between the waistband and the first horizontal seam. We categorize low rise into three categories: Modest Rise–6-7 inches; Low Rise–4.5 to 5.5 inches ; Daringly Low Rise–4 inches or lower. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
Another strange obsession of the older biddy nurses was the relative position of the nurse and patient. There were right ways for entering and exiting rooms, taking vitals, etc. Some procedures (major dressing changes for example) were “blocked” as elaborately as a Broadway play.
The major rule–one that seemed silly to us–was never turn your back on the patient. Like a television evangelist, you were supposed to go about your task without ever completely breaking eye contact—even when it required contortions.
What the older biddy nurses didn’t tell us (or at least the men) but almost certainly knew was a person stuck in a bed or wheelchair or even chair has a butt-high line-of-sight. Add that to the unavoidable close proximity involved in nursing care and the consequences start at unpleasant and move downward. I never really understood this until I changed roles.
Thong: A popular panty silhouette with a triangle shaped front panel, thin side panels and minimal coverage in back for a no-show look under clothes. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
Make no mistake: I was in a first class skilled nursing facility and received first class care. Any complaints I make–stated or inferred–are broader than a single facility and tend to be universal.
Staff-wise at my skilled nursing facility the overall female to male ratio was about the same 18-1 as when I was in nursing school. The nurse to aide (including tech) ratio was about 1-12 and and the therapist (physical and occupational) to aide ratio about 1-6.
Everyone, but nurses and techs in particular, worked a lot of double shifts (16 or 20 hours) or quick returns (back after only 8-12 hours off). At least once I noticed none of the nurses on my floor left at shift change–although a couple changed work assignments.
The food service workers were polite and, for the most part, efficient. The cooks I met were very good and willing to make special dishes when asked in advance.
The food was better than most institutional food and at time it bordered on being very good. Soups were especially good and desserts were particularly decadent. Maintaining an appetite was not a chore.
My dealings with the administration were limited, but typical—some anonymous bureaucrat or another would get excited because this or that form was incomplete and the nurse or aide would calmly help the patient take care of it in order to “keep them off your back.”
String Bikini: A bikini with thin string sides. This traditional silhouette offers comfortable, minimal to moderate coverage. String bikinis that are seamless, or constructed of smooth fabrics like microfiber and mesh virtually disappear under medium to heavy fabrics. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
All the horror stories about untrained and unqualified nursing home workers who are misused and exploited by their employers had me prepared for the worst, but they proved untrue. Yes, some were better than others and yes, some complained about their working conditions, but as a whole the employees were capable of doing their job and seemed to be glad to be doing it.
An unusually large percentage of the workers were also attending school in order to move up the pecking order in the nursing home.
Almost all of the aides were already certified, but several housekeeping and food service workers were working toward aide certification. Aides were working toward certification as med techs or lab techs or licensed practical nurses. LPNs were working to become registered nurses and two-year RN’s were working toward bachelor’s degrees.
But almost none of them said they were working on advancement as a way to get out of nursing homes. While the rest of the medical world may look down on nursing home workers, many of the workers at this nursing facility said it is closer to the old-fashioned ideals of nursing that made them get into the field in the first place.
Tanga: A moderate to minimal coverage European panty silhouette with back coverage that is more than a thong but narrower than a bikini. Tangas are a comfortable way to transition from a bikini to a thong. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
I was checked and settled in by a nurse who had no visible panty lines–something I didn’t appreciate at the time, but soon came to realize had been very special. Of my generation–she may have been a little younger–her attire included a blouse buttoned to the neck and a covering smock. Even though she was wearing pants, I have to believe the old biddy nurses would have approved.
What put me in a nursing home was a staph infection that required intravenous antibiotic treatment every four hours. I had just spent about three weeks in the hospital with septic arthritis in my right knee complicated by pneumonia and, of course, the infection. The physical therapy department had taught me to get around with a walker, but I was not yet allowed to do so on my own.
I had come from the hospital with a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter, or PICC, hooked to a vein in my right arm. Six times a day a nurse came in and hooked me up to the antibiotics. Each treatment, in theory, took about half an hour. The vagaries if the IV pump and viscosity of the antibiotic IV fluid meant I was pretty much tied me to the bed for the duration of the treatment.
Additionally, four times a day—every six hours—a tech would give me a breathing treatment for asthma and the lingering effect of the pneumonia. This also took about half an hour.
Five days a week I also had physical therapy and occupational therapy–each an hour more or less. Add three meals a day in a dining facility and it’s obvious I had no long stretches of free time.
Boyshort: Boyshorts offer full coverage in a modern silhouette. Boyshorts are a perfect everyday alternative and offer comfortable coverage under clothing. A coulotte is a European version of a boyshort. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
The drastic difference between the attire of my initial nurse and her subsequently introduced aide not only set off my bottometer—which I didn’t know I had until then—it may have also calibrated it.
Just after I finished a late supper in my room (I’d missed meal time) the aide came in, announced it was my bath night, and said, “But I guess you don’t want a bath or shower yet.”
I disappointed her I could tell, but during those three weeks in the hospital I had only been allowed an occasional “whore’s bath” and was ready to pay any price for hot water, soap and shampoo.
As I said earlier, I was technically still wheelchair bound, so the trip to, and preparation for, the shower was somewhat complicated. Also, the PICC in my right arm had to be covered and waterproofed.
The the rising and falling and pulling of her uniform (raising her arm bared her midriff, for example) during the pre and post shower procedures revealed—to my amazement and slight disgust—a taste for daringly low rise panties of hot pink lace. Continuing the theme of too much information, I also learned her left breast (ala Janis Joplin) had a tattoo of a heart; the right side of her chest was tattooed with a vine that spiraled around the breast several times before ending in a blossom on the aureole; a stylized floral motif of some kind was tattooed on the area above her pubic mound; and her right hip cheek had a tattoo of a cartoon character.
Despite a haze made of fatigue, medication and hot steam my bottometer screamed. This is not the stuff on which dreams are made.
Hipster: A mid coverage panty, which is a moderately low rise cross between a bikini and a brief. Hipsters are a modern and comfortable take on the classic brief and are less bulky than a boyshort. Hipsters are virtually invisible under mid-rise pants. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
Before breakfast the next morning a physical therapy tech came to evaluate me. I told her I could get around fine using the walker and then set about killing myself to prove it.
It worked. She put me in a category that said I could go (using the walker) without an escort to meals, activities, etc. I still had to have an escort to and from the shower, but not in it. It’s hard to describe how good this makes one feel.
Past bad experiences taught me how easy it is to loose range of motion, so I tend to attack physical therapy full force and them push my limits. If pain allowed (and I was more than adequately doped up) I’d add 10 repetitions to whatever the tech asked and always try to walk twice as far as expected.
Many of the routines involved counter pressure provided by the therapist or tech and the resulting twisting and turning for position meant there were times it felt like we were playing “Twister” or wrestling in slow motion.
During one of these awkward positions I realized the therapist was dripping sweat on me. Worse, I realized this meant I had undoubtedly been dripping sweat on her for quite some time. But we both politely ignored it and went on with the exercise.
After several weeks I progressed to using a cane—a degree of freedom that seemed unbelievable after being dependent on a walker for so long. I was even, very slowly, beginning to handle stairs. I began to believe the light a the end of the tunnel was not a train approaching a a high rate of speed.
G-String: A minimal coverage panty with string sides and back. Similar to a thong, some manufacturers use the terms interchangeably, but in general G-strings offer ultra minimal coverage. These tiny panties are virtually guaranteed to eliminate panty lines. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
I’m not sure when my brain death began. It’s just something residents of nursing homes slip into. We did a lot of strength and rage-of-motion exercises for our upper and lower body, but no one was really looking out for our minds.
Sure, the aides dragged everyone they could to various activities. Get them out of their room and etc. But activities often meant little more than mindlessly staring at different walls.
My roommate watched television every waking hour he wasn’t eating or going through physical therapy. Fortunately for me he was deaf and watched it with the captions ion but the sound muted.
I read. As often the case when faced with short snatches of time to fill I read passages from “Desert Solitaire” by Edward Abbey. I read it for comfort and inspiration. Abbey’s book is my “New Testament” I suppose—I carry it around as a companion. Through the years I have read it while hiking, camping, traveling, waiting. I keep copies of it in almost everywhere and have been know to force copies on friends and strangers.
“Has joy any survival value in the operations of evolution?” I read after randomly opening the book. “I suspect that it does; I suspect that the morose and fearful are doomed to quick extinction. Where there is no joy there can be no courage; and without courage all other virtues are useless. Therefore the frogs, the toads, keep on singing even though we know, if they don’t, that the sound of their uproar must surely be luring all the snakes and ringtail cats and kit foxes and coyotes and great horned owls toward the scene of their happiness.”
But Abbey began losing against the institutional soporific impress of the nursing home and I was approaching desperation when I pleaded with my son to dig out a copy of another nearly constant companion: “The Character of Physical Law” by Richard Feynman. Sure enough, he found a copy under the driver’s seat of my car (taking advantage of my confinement he was borrowing it—the car that is).
“The age in which we live is the age in which we are discovering the fundamental laws of nature, and that day will never come again,” Feynman wrote. “It is very exciting, it is marvelous, but this excitement will have to go. . .
“There will be a degeneration of ideas, just like the degeneration that great explorers feel is occurring when tourists begin moving in on a territory.”
Yes, but there will always be something new under the sun. Every answer launches a new line of questions.
“The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.” So goes Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Happy Thought.” Of course Stevenson also said, “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.”
Concerning quantum mechanics Feynman said: “I am going to tell you what nature behaves like. If you will simply admit that maybe she does behave like this, you will find her a delightful, entrancing thing. Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, ‘But how can it be like that?’ because you will get ‘down the drain’, into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that.”
Paul Dirac said, “A physical theory must possess mathematical beauty.” One problem with Feynman is his beauty sometimes obscures his mathematics. Feynman makes things seem so logical we forget the underlying complexity—we think we understand more than we actually do because Feynman has made it seem so obvious.
Brain fuel for surviving IV therapy. For blacking out the fact the nurse’s underwear is so tight it has divided her bottom into what appear to be several balloons on the verge of explosion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Entropy must increase. But please, not yet.
Back to Abbey:
“Civilization is Jesus turning water into wine; culture is Christ walking on the waves;
“Civilization is a youth with a Molotov cocktail in his hand; culture is the Soviet tank ort the L.A. Cop that guns him down;
“Civilization is the wild river; culture 592,000 tons of cement;
“Civilization flows; culture thickens and coagulates, like tire, sick, stifled blood.”
Hi-Cut Brief: A moderate to full coverage panty with a very hi-cut leg. Some women find that hi-cut briefs offer a bit of tummy shaping. –Bare Necessities® Panty Glossary
When I was finally given my walking papers from the skilled nursing facility I faced one final hitch. The nursing facility rules said the PICC in my right arm could only be removed by a registered nurse. Unfortunately my wing didn’t have an RN on duty at the time. One would have to be brought in from another wing.
She was, of course, busy with patients on her own wing and then busy with patients on other wings who, for one reason or another, required the services of an RN. I ended up waiting—futilely—for several hours.
Then—at shift change—my LPN grabbed an incoming RN in the parking lot and convinced her to take care of me before she reported to her own wing.
The RN was very nice and seemed very professional, but when she bent over to remove the PICC the waist of her pants—inches from my nose—pulled down just enough to reveal a tattoo of a butterfly. Framed by the straps of her thong.
My bottometer told me I wasn’t leaving a moment too soon.
White ladies pants
Upon the old clothesline;
Polka-dotted bloomers
Oh my gosh they’re mine!
Oh don’t you wish
That you could wear them too?
That will only happen
When the seat wears through.
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